We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
You made out with two different species that night
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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