I want to walk on stilts...naked
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
How does it feel to date your dad?
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
