I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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