last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
