I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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