How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
