did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
