i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
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