at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
People with herpes should wear stickers.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
