It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Randomize
