She's JV to your varsity
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Randomize
