took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Come see our sink grown plant.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Randomize