Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Randomize
