don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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