The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize
