When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize