we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
