Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
