I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
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