New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
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