dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
