he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
he high fived his dick after we had sex
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Randomize