I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Randomize
