This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize