i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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