i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
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