I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Randomize