i just wanna soil my oats bro
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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