I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Randomize
