the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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