Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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