I just threw up on my dentist
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
