worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
