to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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