Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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