I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Randomize
