Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
this will be a night to untag.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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