Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Randomize