I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
