so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Randomize