You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
