I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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