I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
