Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
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