When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
