things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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