I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
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