Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Randomize
