i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I think your dad took our porno
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
