How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
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