Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
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