just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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