i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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