after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
