Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I want to be your penis for a week.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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