you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
