you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I can't turn off my feet"
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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