help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
