WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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