And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize