just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
